What UCAS didn't tell you about University...
Crossed out the ones that don’t apply / aren’t true at all.
- Pound coins are priceless.
- You will turn into an alcoholic.
-
You live for post.I never get post!! The student loan isn’t nearly enough.- You won’t survive without the internet. Tru’ ‘dat!
- Food is more expensive than you think.
-
The halls were only clean on the open day.Ricky Road was alright… - Every class has a complete twat in it (if you can’t see them, it’s you). So true it’s unreal!!
- Your room will only be tidy when you’re meant to be working and are bored of Facebook / MSN / the internet in general.
Smoking weed appears to be mandatory.-
You need a car.I so don’t! Waste of money at uni if y’ask me. - Your laptop becomes your best friend.
You will learn to type a billion words a minute.You’ll eventually become immune to alcohol.- Student loan and overdraft is NOT free money. Well spotted ;)
- You’ll never know what day of the week it is. Just lately I’ve noticed this…
- You have no idea what is going on in the world outside uni. Again true!
- No matter how much cutlery you bring to uni, you will always run short of knives and forks but have too many spoons. Oh yes! Spoons are always all that’s left in our drawers!!
You will be Faceraped many times.- You will eat anything. I did this before uni though.
- You will wear the same pair of jeans for however many days/weeks/months you like.
- You will wish that the fire alarms were not there.
- £1 shops are the holy grail.
-
You will worship Tesco.Morrison’s maann!! - You will ask for student discount on Everything you buy.
-
Showers become less important. Sleep becomes more important.Nah showers are still important man. - Your work WILL actually form a new mountain range.
- Your calculator will become your solemate.
- You will start thinking and talking like your friends around you, and will pick up a mixture of silly accents.
- There will be at least one lecturer you hate. Yep!
- There will be at least one lecturer you love. Yes :@.
- Going to bed at 2am is an early night. Holy hell yes!
- Most of your education will be obtained outside of lectures.
You will spend countless hours gazing out of the window.-
You won’t miss TV.Hell yeah I’d miss TV! -
I-player is God.No it isn’t ‘cause BBC sucks. - Your bin will overflow for weeks on end.
- Your bread will go mouldy.
-
To iron your jeans, you spread them out on the floor and force the creases out by hand.If anyone does this then I do find myself asking how they got into uni… Prank calls become funny again.- You’ll never really know who lives below/above you until there is a fire alarm and you are all kicked outside. It was the only time I saw a lot of them :p.
- You’ll eat cereal for dinner. Always did ;D
- You will wear your bag on both shoulders. Always did.
- College students are so much more mature. About the same I’d say.
You will become an expert in making paper aeroplanes.- You will find yourself browsing YouTube for hours.
You will destroy your corridor in halls after a good night out.- You should NEVER leave your room unlocked.
- Taxis will be a necessity.
- Your pots and pans won’t wash themselves.
- You will facebook/msn/text the room next to you rather than get up.
- You’re so used to your mum buying you things like toothpaste you dont even notice until you have completely run out.
- You will go out until 4am before an important lecture. And then vomit in it…
- Vouchers for anything become priceless.
-
You’ll join everything in Freshers’ week, but then go to none of the meetings.I joined nowt in Freshers’ Week hahaha! - You can never afford food, but always a night out!
- You will sit in front of your computer refreshing Facebook every minute.
- You will have watched every single DVD ever made in the first few months.
You will try to steal as many glasses from as many pubs/bars as you can.-
You walk to town because the bus fare is the equivalent to an extra pint.Nevah! I always bus/taxi into town. You pay for as much things as possible with 1p and 2p coins.- You will talk to laods of people at freshers and then ignore them for the rest of the year.
- You know you’re officially poor when you’re paying for your food with pennies found behind the bed, in bottom of bags etc. you also know this when you go to the bank and withdraw the odd £1.53 from an old account because its so badly needed. I’ve done that last bit before; Gregg’s was needed!
- Facebook will ruin your degree. Wikipedia will save it. Too fucking right Wikipedia will save it!!
- Ketchup is more expensive than you think.
-
That “24 bottles of booze for £10” offer in the supermarket doesn’t seem such a good idea when you realise you’ve got no money for a bus and have to walk up the hill to get home.I live close to the supermarket ;D. - Your room will never look as good as somebody elses.
- You will find yourself phoning your mum more often than you thought.
- The microwave will form the basis of many drunken experiments.
- Sunlight is evil.
- You will buy the essential foods from the supermarket but you still “cant be bothered to cook” so you go to the nearest takeaway. Hell yeah!
-
A cancelled lecture is almost better than Christmas.I wouldn’t go that far… Pizza dominates your diet.-
You will become hooked on one thing from the canteen menu.As if I eat in the canteen… - You will end up wasting loads of time writing silly things like this instead of doing assignments!! Amen to that.
